Christian Women Fellowship International, CWFI, has advised single ladies not to be desperate to get married rather they should take their time and get it right.
CWFI, Church of God Mission International, Gwagwalada Provincial Headquarters gave the advice at a programme tagged; “Damsel Arise’’ on Tuesday in Abuja.
Dr Ifeanyichukwu Ukanu, a Sexologist and the hostess of the event said that the single phase of ladies lives should be used for productive activities like investing in themselves.
Mrs Ukanu said that this was because whatever women failed to achieve during their single days would be difficult to achieve when they were married.
For instance, she said she had been struggling to build a house for her father in the city but it had been difficult due to family responsibilities, adding that it would have been easier to achieve as a single lady.
She encouraged ladies to update themselves, get a skill, further their education to get masters and doctorates degrees and make money while waiting for marriage.
“Ladies are so desperate now to get married, so anything goes, and that desperation is what we don’t want.
“Your own will come, in this church somebody got married at 48, another person almost at 50, I am not saying that it is good but if it has not come yet ,don’t force it.
“Ladies keep asking me what if a guy wants to marry them and he is insisting on sex before marriage?
“I always ask them, ok how many guys will you sleep with? What if you sleep with him and he is not satisfied with your sex life? he will dump you and get another person so these are some of the things we talk about,’’ she said
Mrs Ukanu said that she was against sex before marriage because of the consequences it could bring, especially sexual diseases among others.
According to her, most times people don’t know their partners HIV status, as a lot of girls are having cervical cancer caused by Human Papillomavirus, HPV.
She said that a woman that had multiple sexual partners might contact some of these diseases so ladies needed to be guided on these issues.
Mrs Ukanu also stressed the need for ladies to do proper check-up before getting married to enable them know who they wanted marry to avoid some marital challenges.
She said that it had become imperative to organise the event in order to lift up the spirits of women.
According to her, this is because a lot of them are weighed down with depression due to so many challenges including the present harsh situation in the country.
She said that looking at the ladies in the church, it was observed that some of them were not married and some married ones could not handle their homes effectively.
“People always ask me how I cope in my marriage of 22 years with grown-up kids, so looking at these challenges, we now thought it wise to have a programme.
“We called different resource persons that have succeeded in different areas of their lives, the idea is for them to talk to us about how to rise above challenges, especially in relationships because sex has always been an issue,’’ she said
Mrs Ukanu also advised married women to always update themselves with skills, education and so on to avoid being bullied or looked down on in marriage.
She called on women to spice up their sex lives and have regular sex with their spouses to curb the temptation of going outside.
She also advised men to learn ways of pleasing their wives sexually to make them enjoy it, adding that sex was not just for doing sake, it had to be enjoyed.
Senior Pastor, CMWI Gwagwalada, Rev. Ayodele Yama said God holds women in high esteem so women should see themselves the way God sees them.
According to Yama, women are builders so they should be assisted to achieve their potential and the best way to do that is to allow a woman to be herself and not to cage her.
“Today, we are meeting with a group of potential women who are climbing up the ladder in age and otherwise, they should know that they are so important that they should not give up
“Some of them are more than the age of marriage already but no husband yet, so it is important for them to know that life is worth more than having a husband. Life is about fulfilling your destiny and God’s purpose,’’ he said
Yama also advised couples to see themselves as best friend and to also know that nobody was perfect so they would always make mistakes.
He urged couples to always give room for lapses, and make do with their differences.
Rev. Veronica Yama, the president of CWFI, Gwagwalada said that the group was trying to bridge the gap between older women and younger women in the society.
She said that there was no need criticising young girls who dress wrongly rather they should be mentored and thought the ways of God and allow the Holy Spirit guide them.
According to her, a woman is not less than a man, therefore, she could be whatever she wanted to be so they should always lean on the Holy Spirit to see them through.