Monday, December 6, 2021

Who are you to judge me?, by Hadiza Yuguda

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To Judge simply means to form an opinion or conclusion about someone or something. In this 21st century, judging one another has become a phenomenon. Since judging is something we do for fun, it is, therefore, inevitable to judge. It is excruciating how people nowadays make assumptions within the boundary of their imaginations and concludes that this person is this or that.

Whenever we interact with someone, we are inevitably making or passing judgement on or against that person. For someone to think that that person didn’t live up to those expectations is not right. I know I have a lot of people judging my every movement, some in a good way, while others in a bad way. I am the type that likes to be aware of people’s perceptions of me, but when you make it as a priority, as a means of judging my worth, that is when it becomes dangerous.

Steve Jobs once said: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma-which is living with the results of other peoples thinking.” It is, therefore, disgusting how people waste their precious time mocking and judging others, which does more harm than good to the society. I want people to know that in this life nobody is perfect. We need to give room for others to understand us and for us to know one another. Who are we to judge ourselves? It is best if we say good things about ourselves, or else keep quiet.

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However, passing judgment on the behaviour of fellow human beings is considered an act of undemocratic intolerance and imposing negativity on ourselves and the society. It is, often times, the causative agent of the concept of judgment is our ill attitude towards one another.  Judging people in a negative way consumes your time and energy and makes you weak and emotionally unstable. Instead, be positive in your dealings, and good vibes will overshadow the negative ones.

Moreover, you have got to quit judging people just because they are something in life, which you are not. That is what I call ‘envy’ and it is another bad habit that makes people to point a finger on one another. Envy is a negative feeling that makes you wish to have a possession, or other desirable things belonging to someone else. It is envy that results to jealousy. Envy makes us discontented. Envy makes us resentful. In fact, envy makes some people to forcefully adopt a habit that does not fit them.

Sometimes you feel like everyone is judging you when they are talking trash about things they don’t even have an idea of, they don’t know your struggles and yet they open their big mouth as if they care if you die. Trust me, the best way to stay envy-free is to focus on yourself and mind your business, be a well-wisher and stay true to yourself.

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In some instances, jealousy leads to impulsive judgments. In as much as it is human nature to be jealous sometimes, but judging others is a choice which often times comes from our weak state of mind. From the act of jealousy we tend to start to hate or spread fake news. You might not know that you are jealous of a person until you start judging another person wrongly in your mind. To borrow Paulo Coelho’s words, “We are good lawyers for our own mistakes, and very good judges for mistakes of others.”

On a general note, most people who are quick in judging others are mostly frustrated, saddest set of people one can ever come across. The sad fact about this society is that people tend to judge without justifications. And it leads to dangerous misconceptions. Some people pass judgments based on sentiments and it makes me ponder whether it is pure ignorance or jealousy that has taken over our people. What I want people to understand is that no one is a saint and you don’t have any right to judge anyone except God.

Therefore, in so far as circumstances make us to act the way we do sometimes, we should always have to bear in mind that judging the actions of others is of little or no use. We choose which brain to feed, and the direction to focus our minds on and where to deposit our energy.  In some cases we attract the negative people to ourselves because we don’t want to invest in good relationships. This world is full of fake things: Fake people, fake life, fake relationships, fake smiles, everything fake, fake, fake the list goes on and on.

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Have you ever wondered or asked yourself why our country is not developed like other European countries? Let me educate you on this. It is not bad governance alone. We also contributed, too, by wasting our energy judging ourselves, instead of investing the same energy on something useful, like thinking outside the box on how to strategize and develop ourselves, our country and the world at large.

Finally, away from all these negative traits, I believe we as human beings have a way of retracing our steps in order to put some corrective measures. We can only do that by imbibing good manners, discipline ourselves, remember the family we came from, make our family proud and guard our reputation with everything we’ve got. We should be self-effacing, make good friends, positive vibes all the way and mind our businesses. We should treat people equally, share love and respect. The good thing about love and respect is that it’s reciprocal.  When you give, you receive.

Ms Yuguda can be reached via [email protected][email protected], or on Twitter at: @HadeezahY.

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