Famous professor of criminology, Femi Odekunle in one of his off the cuffs lectures once warned university lecturers not to sexually abuse their students. According to him, no law forbids a lecturer from befriending his student, in doing so, you must follow the natural ways of wooing a lady. Never assume you are more than a lady when you stoop low to ask her out. The day you feel the snag of affection between you two, discard your academic robe and wear the robe of a lover by doing the needful to ask her out. One thing you mustn’t do is use your status as her lecturer as a bargaining chip. When you do that, you lose the moral and natural right to fall in love. Love was created for man and woman, for two people that find themselves glued in affection should be allowed to manifest their cravings, it becomes unacceptable when undue advantage becomes the order of the day.
Some of our men are so cowardly built that they arrogate needless powers to themselves, because you sit atop a position, you think the heaven lies on your feet. In exercising this privilege, they take advantage of people’s vulnerability. For a lady to be given a job, she must lay bare her body, for a depressed lady in need of spiritual healing, she must show appreciation in bed. This ugly situation is a lamentable reality in almost everywhere a man holds forth a responsibility. A policeman arrested a lady for traffic offence and pronto he wants to bed her! Why do men think of sex as the only reward for good?
A real man should be able to ask courteously for what he wants without taking undue advantage. Go in search of a woman, ask her out, who says she won’t be forthcoming if she sees the right quality in you? You may force a lady to bed but you can never win her heart, why not be the man you were designed to be and do the needful instead of using your position to curry undue advantage?
Do you see how the UNILAG professor was offensively jittery in front of a 17-year-old girl? A professor should have all the assertiveness of a man if indeed he was out for the right thing. What does it take to mentor the admission seeker, help her secure a place in the university, watch her excel in school and see if she doesn’t fall in love with you. People fall in love not necessarily for bodily attraction but the content of your intellect. Were I a lecturer, I will have mentored generation of girls into mothers of virtue and not objects of office quickies. Do you even need a cold room when you are man enough? Our men in classrooms and on the altar are disgracing us walahi.
Aligning my stance with the thinking of Father Kelvin Ugwu who intelligently added that as we saw it happen between University professors and their female students, that is how it happens between Corpers serving in secondary schools and their female students. That is how it also happens between Senior students or school prefects in secondary schools and their JSS 3 or SS1 female students.
As we saw it happen between pastors/priests and their parishioners, that is how it happens between a boss and his secretary or subordinate. That is how it happens between an Oga in a big house and his house help. That is how it happens between those that own hotels and the females employed by them.
In all these scenarios, the common denominators are the same: power, social status, decayed morals, lack of sense of repercussion.
How do we get this rotten far? Moral decadence, weak family structure and the rush to be who we are not combined to thrust us this ugly reality. To get what you deserve, you must pay for it even when you are eminently qualified. The unfair advantage given to those who are not qualified leads the qualified ones to give out what they have so as not to lose out. Merit is buried in the dust as favouritism takes prominence.
We shall continue to face this disturbing reality until we put a halt to the individual demons in us. We take advantage of our positions to undermine the rights of others, forgetting that, one day, somehow, we are going to be screwed by high elements and persons. As the hammer is on the men today, the ladies too should search their inner selves and join the advocacy against the abuse of privileges. Your body is not a barter for employment, grades or money. Your intellect should define your worth. Let’s quash the debased slogan of ‘I will use what I have to gain what I want’. The gains will come but the pains will be enormous.